What Day Is It?

My plan was to title this "[Whatever today is] Night", but I can't remember what today is!  

Today, Shelley and Pam ran errands including a trip to the bank and--of course--Chico's!  They had a well-deserved few hours of fun.  Mean while, Noah and Mark did some grocery shopping for the gang and helped organize Gram's goods.  Mark II and I moved some (most) of the furniture to the garage to easily load up everyone with their new treasures!  We went through Gram's bathroom and clothes and found lots for donation. Gram would be very pleased.  

Veranda Park continues to be AMAZING.... I don't like to over-CAPS when typing, but there is no real way to put into words how wonderful the staff and facility has been.  Today was over-the-top.  They hand delivered memorial service announcements to each resident's doorstep.  They printed them on card-stock in color... and they are providing bus service for the residents who want to attend.  Their ability to anticipate needs, sincerity, and kindness has really been way more than we expected--and just what we've needed!

We all enjoyed a dinner at the Roadhouse Grill... food and company was great, service was eh.  

Dinner-time

Laughing at the texts Chad was sending about his new friend, an 89 year old with "hair like feather dusters coming out of his ears and eyebrows so long that they double as a toupee" who kept showing Chad his pictures of grandkids, horses, his sailboat...

The nice announcement that Veranda Park printed, delivered, and posted.  

(This is from last night... Mark II poured me a "glass" of wine.  It is the size of a thimble...thanks!)

Speakers?

Does anyone want to say anything at the service? Please let me know if so by SUNDAY. Email me at kmrokasy@gmail.com to let me know so I can add it to the program. Thanks!

Vulnerability

This is really cheap therapy...it will only cost you 20 minutes.

My dear friend, Shelly, sent me this YouTube link.  She is such a wise soul and is so generous with her love, just like Gram.  I took a glance and thought, "I don't have time to watch that right now.  I'll watch is when things settle down."  Well, "something" kept drawing my attention to it, so I finally watched it last night while laying in bed.  

I think Gram was one of the "whole-hearted" group. 

Happy Birthday Britts!

Brittany Cotter turned 12 yesterday!  We hope you had the BEST birthday.  

All your family loves you so much!!!

Celebration of Life

At Gram's request, we will have a celebration at the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Medford on Tuesday, October 4th at 1:00pm.  

2000 Oakwood Dr. Medford, OR 97504

Phone:             541-773-8274      

A New Beginning...

Gram passed away last night.  After a night of laughter, stories, and family billowing through her home, we all went to bed.  Katy slept in Gram's room.  About an hour and a half later, Katy noticed Gram's breathing seemed a little slower so she woke Shelley up.  Katy and Shelley agreed that Gram seemed to be on her way, so Shelley went to get Pam.  

Katy thought, "Ouch!  Now, why would Mom pinch my butt on the way to get Pam?"  She turned around and Shelley was not in the room... Was it Gram? :-)

Pam and Shelley quickly and calmly entered the room and Gram took a few more shallow, soft breaths.  Then, she just slipped away in total peace.  

MJ, Mark II, and Amy came up to Gram's room and we all sat around laughing, telling stories, sharing a few tears, and knowing that Gram was off onto her next journey and having quite the party with Pop!

From last night  before she passed, I forgot to post:

These beautiful flowers arrived this morning from Tom and Heidi, Chad and Cody's friends.  So Gram, right? Thank you!

Wednesday Evening

Gram's friend (and Maid-of-Honor) stopped by. 

Jean brought these beautiful flowers from her garden.  They almost look plastic in person!  She also brought some pear honey for toast.... can't wait for breakfast!

A Veranda Park friend brought by some flowers, too. 

Mark Senior (and Mark II) arrived about 4:30 to share some special time with Gram. 

We all sat around and visited in Gram's room... our laughter didn't seem to keep her up! 

We are all amazed to be witness to this process.  She is truly doing this gracefully.  

Grandson's sure love their grandmothers!  They couldn't have been more gentle and sweet.

Dos Equis

Pam Skyped with Kellie in Hawaii!  It was so great to see her, and she even turned the camera on to baby Skylynn.  SO precious.  

Are you surprised that we are all hovering in the kitchen?

Mark II and Amy made a delicious taco dinner that we scarfed down!

Skyping with "The Guys"

We are soo animated!

Dr. Noah and Nurse Mark operating on my computer.  

(Darn cord decided to break while I was out of battery... thankfully the rescue team was near.)

Lots of laughs.

Skyping each other? 

Oops...I caught them!

Tender love and words from Mark II. 

Gram is still being funny!  We were helping her with a shower last Saturday and she looked down and said, "Well... look at those fried eggs!"  (referring to her boobs!)

She's been a little itchy, so I've been saying, "Can I scratch those fried eggs for you?"  She lights up and smiles--thinks it's pretty funny, as do we!  

Gram's also been waking up more tonight.  She really rose to the occasion of having all the family around.  However, of the few little words she is saying, she almost always says, "Coffee!" first!  We all get a good laugh at her demanding coffee when she first wakes up...

MJ, Please Don't Hold This Against Me...

After over an hour together--just the two of them--we wondered what Mark and Gram could be talking about!
Come to find out....

Auntie P said, "He still has his Yacky-Doodle lips!"

Mark and Amy Arrived!

We are so happy they have arrived safely and are visiting with Grammy now.  Gram received some cards in the mail today, so they are reading them to her now. 

Gram is less responsive as far as talking today.  However, when I said, "Gram, can I take a picture of you with Mark and Ame?"  She gave the HUGEST smile and it cracked us all up!  Unfortunately, I kind of missed the moment, but you can tell that "the kids" are laughing!

Another funny thing she said as they were scooching her up the bed was, "You kids are so funny."  :-)

Gram's Tomatoe Bisque Soup

Yes, the recipe has an "E" on the end of tomato!

1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup butter
1 1/2 tsp dill seed
1 1/2 tsp oregano
5 cups shopped tomatoes

Saute first 5 ingredients together, then add chopped tomatoes and simmer for 25 minutes.  Puree this mixture.

Mix 2 Tbs flour and 2 Tbs butter over medium heat to make a rue.  Then add this plus 2 Tbs salt, 1/2 tsp white pepper, 4 Tbs honey, 1/4 cup parsley.  TO FREEZE, STOP HERE.

1 1/4 cup heavy cream and 2/3 cup half/half to the tomatoe mixture and heat through.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun...

I looked at the clock 2 minutes ago and it was 7:00am... now it's almost 10:30!  I've been laughing and chatting with Ry, Noah, Mom, Pam, and Gram.

Pam did yeoman's work last night.  She slept on the couch to easily hear Gram while Shelley slept in the other bedroom.  I was put in time-out and sent to the 2nd floor complimentary room.

I have to tell you a funny:  Last night Noah saw that Gram was sitting up on the edge of the bed.  He looked at me (Katy) and said, "Uh--Gram's making a run for it!"  I went in to help and asked Noah to get Pam or Shelley for me... he just about flew into the other room and said with his eyes as wide as saucers, "Pam, Katy needs your help!  Gram's on the move!"  It was so funny because the tone in his voice seemed like she was sprinting down the hall and that we might have to tackle her!  We all got quite the laugh...

This morning Gram Skyped with Anna, Jack, and Janeen, but was pretty sleepy after the long night.  She can hear all of us still and is responsive, but isn't much of a chatterbox now.  I know she can hear us because I was about to wash out her mouth and asked her to open up.  She smiled and opened up and told me, "That feels so good."

We are expecting Mark Senior and Deuce this afternoon and MJ and Amy about 1:00.  Gram knows they are on their way and is excited to be with them.

Marge Nave stopped by today and is visiting right now with her.  

Linda, the activity director for Veranda Park, stopped by to visit.  She brought a huge bouquet of yellow smiley face balloons that cheer up the room!

Guys, the out pour of love has been tremendous.  It is so beautiful to see how much love these "people" who aren't part of our "family" have for our Gram!  We think we've had about 40-50 visitors over the last 5 days!

Yet another busy day around here.  Still peaceful and joyous around here and all your love is felt... it's definitely surrounding us. 

We had a wonderful visit with Lori, the pastor from Westminister, who will perform Grams' Celebration of Life.  She is so sweet and will undoubtedly do a great job.  Gram visited with her and rose to the occassion.  

She seems to be conserving her energy for new visitors.  She'll be asleep, but perks right up when Skype comes on or a new visitor comes in.  

We also had a great visit with the Hospice nurse, Vickie.  She is very frank, caring, and observant.  We were quite pleased when she sang our praises and told us what a great job we were doing and that "she wouldn't change a thing".  Vickie said that we are following our intuition and it is spot on.  We'd like to take all the credit, but we know we have "guides" helping us along our way.  However, the praise was definitely appreciated.  "Positive reinforcement" for the former teachers works like a charm. 

Ryan and Noah are picking up the slack.  They willingly went to WalMart together to pick up some Depends.  No whining at all--though we joked at what others may be thinking of them perusing the "feminine hygiene" aisle together.  It's not our family if we aren't laughing at the little things, right?

Pictures from the day (in reverse order, sorry!)

Skyping with Drew, Tina, Tyler, and Kyle

Laughing! 

Vickie, the Hospice Nurse 

Gram loves Rosemary, the gal who cleaned her room.  Rosemary used to call her Dr. Shirley because Gram diagnosed a random case of gout! 

Enjoying the view and watching the kids play in the fountain.

Bill White, Head of Veranda Park maintenance.  He said with tears in his eyes, "Your grandmother is such an amazing woman, and I dont' say that lightly.  She is....she is the sweetest woman in the building and I just love her."

Gram's Recipe

English Toffee


1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 lb butter
3 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 small Hershey bars
3/4 cups chopped pecans


Place first 4 ingredients in a saucepan and cook until brown (about 10 minutes) stirring all the time to prevent burning.  Pour into a buttered fudge pan.  Lay the Hershey bars across the hot mass and spread.  Sprinkle pecans over top.  Cool and break into pieces. 

Note from Mike

This note is from Mike (Katy's Mike).  We all want to be a part of this!  If you have a specific message you want posted, you can comment after each post, or email me (kmrokasy@gmail.com) the pictures or message you'd like me to post.  

Hi Gram,

Just a quick note to say hello and let you know I’m thinking of you.  I keep clicking on the blog to see the latest visitors for which you are obviously not lacking!  Geez, you’d think you’re special or something…  We all know just how much.  J

I’ve had this photo in my phone ever since I took it at the Phoenix airport in 2009 when I ran into you coming back from one of your overseas adventures.  What a surprise to see you being chauffeured  toward me miles from home for both of us!  I like it and thought I would share it with you.

I’m glad your overseers are taking great care of you!

All My Love,

Mike (Rokasy)

Tuesday Morning

Pam found this clipped out and stuck in one of her little poem books.  It is so Gram. 

"And if I go while you're still here

Know that I still live on

Vibrating to a different measure

Behind a thin veil you can't see through. 

You will not see me so you must have faith

I wait the time when we can

Soar together again 

Both aware of each other. 

Until then live your life to the fullest

And when you need me

Just whisper my name in your heart...

I will be there."

Gram's night went well.  She took her meds last night because she slept so well the night before... we figured we'd keep doing what is working!  She ended up taking a second dose of the "anti-agitation" medication in the middle of the night just to help her relax.  Today she is more sleepy and talking in her "sleep", always smiling.  Pam heard her say, "That'd be nice.  Little babies..." as she was sleeping.  We don't know what the reference was to, but it was sure sweet.  

There is a definite change in her ability to be aware and alert.  We are at the crossroads and God is starting to pull her closer to Him.  It is very beautiful. 

Lori, the pastor that will lead the Celebration of Life is coming over in a few minutes to discuss how she wants the services.  Pam is searching for the list of hymns and scripture that Gram already organized.  We are constantly reminded: this is what Gram wants. 

Rosemary Beers (sp?) visited this morning.  Everyone seems to comment how peaceful she seems.  We are all in her prayers.  Can you all feel the prayers that are being said for our family? 

Monday Night

What a great day!  Gram had lots of visitors again (and they came bearing gifts)!

Gram just went to bed.  She is still very alert, aware, and grateful for the love, prayers, and support.  She is amazed at how right this is.  She mentioned that she didn't ever think she would get this opportunity...she thought she just wouldn't wake up someday.  Everyone coming together, calling, skyping, sending letters, etc. means so much to her.  

She received a great card with pictures from Drew, Tina, Tyler, and Kyle today.  They even sent coffee--which we desperately needed!  How did you know?!  Gram was very happy to see the pictures. 

Pictures of the day:

Here are Veranda Park residents Gloria, Margaret, and Liz (left to right) who brought cupcakes.  More on that later in the post...

Dick Davidson, Gram's financial "guy" who has been so great to her over the years.  

We enjoyed the view and watched some boys flying a huge kite.  The cows in the pasture to the right were mesmerized by the kite, it was adorable. 

Noah has assumed the role of "dishwasher".

Ry arrived about 7pm and you can see how thrilled Gram was to see him.  He had been scheduled for jury duty, but they released the case (whew!).  He is staying for a few days.  Noah and Ry started with the "tech talk" and Gram said, "It's like you two are speaking your own language!"

Hollis and Gram chatting... right before the freshly showered and towel clad Olivia joined us!

The Johnson's Skyped with us!  Amy and Mark are coming on Friday morning.  Gram can hardly wait.  She said, "Can you believe I've lived this life and we have this?  Isn't this great?" --referring to Skype

There is a ton of joyous energy here.

Chad, Cody, and Banjo joined the party! 

Grandma Pam promised Banjo she would bring him new toys soon.  He started talking and singing when he heard that!

Love. 

The Cupcakes...

 

...were delicious!

Just realized that we had pictures of everyone else... I'm really here! 

 

I love the smiles in this picture.  I must have said something really funny.  :-)